Snap, Crackle, Rock, and Roll

Runner Up

For me, in first grade there were hierarchies of best friends. I had Margaux, my true (and neighborhood) best friend and I had Jamie, my classroom best friend. Jamie once punched me in my gut during recess in front of the whole grade, just for funnies. That is how I can safely make the distinction. 
Jamie came to play at my house one afternoon. We were outside and playing at the bottom of the driveway. I remember distinctly how different ends of the driveway mattered for playing. You could potentially have more fun at the bottom of the driveway, at least the kind of fun Jamie and I were having. 
I was experiencing that first moment when you find pleasure in poking fun at other people. Jamie and I were taking turns making jokes about kids in our class. This is when I first discovered how easy it is to be funny at other people's expense; a crutch I have used but am proud to say doesn't define my humor. 
This could also serve as insight into why Jamie wasn't my true best friend. 

Backing up a moment—at the bottom of the driveway lived a Dogwood tree. In the fall it produced tiny berries. Jamie dared me to eat a few of them. It was also at this time I learned that if you do things people dare you to do, they are likely to be impressed with you. Or so I thought. It turns out what they are noticing is that you can easily be coerced into doing dumb things. This truth didn't materialize until recently. In other words, I have a long history of putting things in my mouth on a dare (keep this clean readers) and perhaps it led me to this very moment, and this aptly titled blog you and I share. 

And now, the moment I laughed the hardest:
Jamie and I, bottom of the driveway, basically making fun of our peers <bad><don't do this>, laughing hysterically (and yes, mostly because I am hysterical). 

Barf

I threw up

All over the bottom of the driveway

Jamie ran inside to get my Mom, convinced that I had been poisoned by the Dogwood berries I had eaten (for popularity).  I had not. I had just laughed so god damn hard that I threw up.

 It was pretty awesome actually.

Winner

This video should say it all. I hope it pleases you, I really do. But I guess if it doesn't, I could always record me eating this stale....

Are you kidding? NO, watch the video.